Where would we start? I know too much.
Just the thought of what would even initiate a reply from me is foreign.
“I would like to take you to *insert restaurant here* at 7pm on Friday. I would like to pay for your hair, nails, toes, and a nice dress/shoes. What is your Zelle?”
This seems to be the only compelling message that I would entertain.
And after that, what happens next? How can I be sure it is worth the warfare?
You read that right, I have a full understanding and analysis of the warfare involved in placing myself at the mercy of a dating interaction with a man.
Here are the five common battles:
- The intense interviewing process conducted by the male party dedicated to defining how they could conquer this challenge in their life. This could lead to false warm fuzzy feelings, fixations on their last name, and even deep investigation of his “type” in an attempt to understand how he is so “perfect”
- The deep performative theatrics that the male identifies after the interviews to assist in reducing static between the male and the goal of sex. This could include tears, gifts, money, and even shoutouts on social media that appear genuine by the Oscar award winning species.
- The conquerer tactic of isolation met with subjective rate due to a “wild night” where they force kisses and if female is dumb enough, they are even in a private home where no witnesses are around so ear hustling can ensure my undergarments come off. Which then leads to persuaded fornication. This act would disrupt years of deep prayer and relationship with God’s plan for my life.
- The “real” Christian man approach that leads me down a “Wow, he’s the one” false rabbit hole. With this event, I would be putting this man in a high category and valuing his discussions about God. This could and has led me down a path of disappointment when he couldn’t sexually wait any more and him visibly moving on portraying his new girlfriend’s dress on the hotel room floor and shoes as a badge of honor.
- The “final boss” of it all. Being out witted by the charmer. He single handedly dismantles the identity of every amazing woman in person, online, or in his family by studying her moves and wins What does he do to solidify the crush? Include my deepest secret in his arsenal and drop it at the least likely moment. Ex. pregnant, married, or simply Tuesday. This could send me into a confusion season where I am constantly releasing the trauma onto others by being rude, dismissive, and even struggling to perform.
So you see how this could never feel “safe”?
A part of healing involves a willingness to know we do not have everything figured out. Although I described a COMMON procedural that men carry out to get “what they want”. I left out a key factor, God’s will.
Fortunately I have had many years of private time searching for why things are the way they are and have concluded that there no rest on Earth because our time here is temporary.
I also am aware that God has people, places, and things created that each one of us could not imagine as it surpasses our authority level.
This makes me wonder…would having a person on Earth who is genuine matter? If I choose to live my life without shaping it to be desired and turn down all advanced would it be ok with “the powers that be” for me to just exist?
Or would my inability to imagine dating a man align with this creation God has for me that I have never seen?
Vision of Voice 