Instagram led me to an event. High traffic images. Local to me. Perfect.
I applied. $50 vendor table fee. 1 table MAX. $25 for tent rental. You can’t bring your own. You must rent/invest in the event coordinators pockets.
I got approved. I order supplies from Temu. Out of character but curious if the $12 table runner from China would measure up to the traditional $200 one in America.
The delivery date passes the vendor event so I panic.
Request an approval for their next market. No response after 4 hours. Not a big deal. Yet.
I begin instagram stalking assuming I will get posted on their page as this weeks candle vendor.
Monday passes. Nothing. But. Metaphysical.
The one thing God delivered me from in 2024. My former stronghold.
Blasted on front page.
I was weary but hey it’s an event right.
No reply by Wednesday. Event is Saturday.
I choose violence. Threaten payment dispute.
This leads them to reply. They refund free will.
Lit.
Then Vendor event # 2 comes into play.
Wild. They initiate contact with me Wednesday citing “We’d love if you cold be a vendor, free of charge”.
Instant yes from me.
I start prepping. 7 days go by. Crickets
I dm again.
“All slots are full, sorry.”
They reply toxic.
As if I reached out to them.
As if I am not the price.
So battered by both displays of disregard for my time/well being.
It is a well known fact that a positive appearance shapes perception but did you know it could cause an urge to destroy?
As I navigate existing beautifully, it is evident that people, men and women, were programmed to pervert good.
From the time we are born and given to our parent a ticking clock goes off until we are exposed to a lie.
It could be your parent handing you a french fry in joy of you eating “adult food”.
The fast processed food industry being one of the first ways we are taught that good is bad and bad is good.
The fallacy that cheap and warm outweighs emotional and physical effects is present in all ways.
We are taught that quick fixes soothe our issues but left with insurmountable anguish of them all.
The warfare transcends into human interaction.
I was in corporate america burnt out. distressed and seeking after any Christian connect, I come across a profile that fits who i would aspire to befriend.
A black male in tech who openly loves God. I instantly view his face and have zero pshysical attraction, skip pass that and read that he works at my jobs partner company integrator. Such a great connect in my head. Select send.
Then it happened.
I was terminated from my job. Open to see God I remembered that guy who is based near me and searched his name to see how the heck is he a black person in tech who loves God and still employed.
I see he runs a group.
I look it up on instagram follow and go abotu my chaotic tech sales healing journey.
Months past and I am intrigued by an event ad on instagram for his events worship night.
I am reminded of poor experiences in churches here but say to myself, “I am determined to get worship out of this and not be manipulated into offense”.
Driving over I begin to hope to meet a fine man. Then it hit me.
I am reminded that the only way I learned about this event was the unattractive LinkedIn Connect.
Instant prayer against bumping into him ensues.
God please dont let me sit by that ugly man.
i walk in.
I see one of my favorite worship leaders his eyes lit in lust and get sad.
Then I see a tank top pianist and his gay demeanor and his stare at me and get sadder.
I moved from their eye sight.
I go to the front and center and am in an aisle seat next to someones man in an aisle seat.
This is worship and I am black and a fine female. I don’t want to be by anyone’s man.
Irony of this statement above loading in 5 4 3 2 1
I see a pretty woman and her man and she smiles slightly at me. I instantly over exaggerate it as a sign that she my friend and sit near her with 4 seats empty on my left.
Worship ensues.
Then 1 of 4 seats is taken by a tall black married youth pastor. My thoughts:
Ew now I got to praise God in a place near a kid black guy with his kid black guy mind. He’s married and is going to assume the worse. Ah. sucks
Then more time passes I look over and it happens.
Ugly man from LinkedIn is now two seats down.
Oh sadness.
I let out a comprising smile and think to myself:
At least I’m not by the married one anymore. I wish I sat in the back.
Proceed with prayer.
Ugly man gets on stage and chooses to rewrite his life…
He starts solid with encouragement.
Then this man goes rogue.
This man chooses violence.
He says super dramatized, “This is not a place to meet a man…This is not a place to meet a woman”
My toned shoulders flex and I proceed to cover my wrist with my arm and push down my frustration with this pure attack on my value and desires.
He is below sea level on the totem scale of who I would even imagine dating.
I came to genuinely see if my type was there and was sad to see it was not.
He made men desiring me seem like a crime.
He tried to paint himself as pure and me in the wrong place/wrong time as some sort of woman in need.
All these happened at once. to top it off lustful worship leader began to smirk at gay pianist.
The trauma.
My hands somehow appear aggressively on my hips and my black girl head somehow aggressively is cocked to the side.
Not my fault just muscle memory.
I then proceed to relax but realize he will come back to sit by me with that outrageous assumption on his breath.
My worship was lower than I would have liked and I was worried and proceed with yelling:
“Interrupt this room JESUS”
Lust worship guy proceeds to jump off stage and do a lap.
The audience is not hype at all.
Then it went from bad to worse.
The lead pastor and a white guy get on stage and scripture hop between 10 books of the word.
I am young in my faith but also it is incredibly disorienting to flip through scriptures to devise a message.
I grabbed my sparkling water bottle upside down and a little fizz spilled on floor.
Here comes pastors wife violence.
She see it and says “Girl I got you”
walks out for 10 minutes leaving me with the spill and confused as to why i cant go get paper towels on my own as an adult.
She returns with 1,000 paper towels. Petty toxic energy.
I take them all use one and then beautifully glide past her and throw them away.
Upon return the word was worse than before. Spewing out generalizations about our lives. Assuming we all are struggling rather than simply speaking on one story and one weakness in our faith.
After 90 minutes of this dance I grew weary.
The lead pastor pushed his last shame preaching with stating “You could die in the parking lot” as a way to get us to pray I guess.
I chose not to get prayer cause the service was rooted in manipulation and lust. I also have recently learned witches go into church services to be prayer leaders and cast spells so no thanks.
Oh speaking of withces. This is a part that you would only have to hear to believe.
The lead paster is a young tall light brown skin sort of ugly married man.
His voice screams Phillip Anthony Mitchell but no rhyme or reason to his preachings.
He speaks from an assumptive spirit. Which shows what that church was rooted on.
He did a lil performative gaslighting momebnt by looking at me directly statement “We have let witchcraft infiltrate our church”
Bro what?
So now since I am beautiful I am a witch too?
People (unattractive) would say oh you are just assuming, these are general statements.
But wise beautiful people know better.
Each assasination on my character was either due to pure ignorance or the fear ingrained in men when a high value women is around.
Theres a reason service went on for 90 minutes and we were shamed into our boredom being due to our inability to sit still.
There’s a reason the little unattactrive man chose to speak on dating knowing that is an area he is struggling in in his personal life and that he is not considered high value.
There is a reason my favorite worship leader’s eyes light up when they see me in a lust not healing regard.
it is because God warned me not to go but I insisted to seek out what I am bigger than.
I wanted that community to accept me.
I wanted to find a man.
I wanted to worship God and be renewed.
I never sit up front.
somehow I ended up front to see who these revered people really are.
A man with a wife is just a man. They can see beauty and try to frame it as desire while being incapable of dating. A preacher is just a man. They can read the word but not eloquently translate and spew aspersions.
A ugly man is just as prideful as a fine one. He can see beauty as something to protect himself from and strive to terrorize it.
I had a desire earlier on to stay so I staed way long than i should have.
From 7pm to 9:30pm enduring a room too small for me.
I then wanted to in some way fight them so I proceeded with oversharing on social media.
big mistake.
It presented an open door for the devil to make me prideful.
I deleted posts had a few AI chats. PRAYED AND WARRED IN THE SPIRIT.
Then decided to right. Comment below only beautiful women. All men will get blocked.
So no-one was going to tell me that satan has systems in place that set us up to fail and feel like it is our own fault?
I lived 33 years blind.
Here are the revelations…so far.
*Heaven is the goal. With what the world presents, living here long and with the most possessions is the goal. That alone should shape your decision making going forward.
*Witchcraft. A means to an end. A construct surpassing hats and brooms. It is when you lie. It is when you manipulate. It is when you gossip. It is even when you rebel.
It can seem harmless.
Dispute a charge cause you didn’t like the service.
Listen to the latest gossip because it is your favorite artist and you want to know more about them.
Tell a job that you have 10 years of experience when you have 1.
It will get your carnal result but will NOT give you results without tax.
The tax is getting heaven and hearing Depart from me you inequity. while Satan stands with a clip board reading out your above crimes smiling.
*Crystals, medicine, psychics, or therapists will never heal you.
On Earth we are shown these creations to persuade us to choose this world. Each time a concept forces you to exclude JESUS, it is not going to get you to heaven.
*God is our FATHER. He is not some distant entity looking at us judging us. A father’s role is simple, direct, protect and love. It is through Jesus that we have grace for our mistakes. It is by FAITH in Jesus that we have grace truly.
The ENTIRE Entertainment Industry, Corporations, Sports, and any systems are flawed filled with psychological warfare to create order.
Hollywood has NEVER created anything to serve our purpose of getting to heaven. No matter how many isolated expose’s are documented the one thing that is true is that EVERY movie, EVERY actor, EVERY studio is rooted in a fallacy of deceiving the audience.
Corporate America deserves a post of it’s own. In short, the higher you rise in Corporate, the more you fall victim to compromise. Morals out the window as your role depends on how much you are able to validate the business with.
Autonomy is mislabeled as rebellion to keep you feeding the machine without end.
Meditation and manifestation are key identifiers of what they believe and no-one is ashamed to admit they will do anything to win.
*Processed foods are bad choices. They are not what they appear to be. They have been forced upon us mentally, physically, and emotionally.
The same way God showed me music can make me do bad things is the same way food can make me feel bad.
*Sports are perverted systems to create false perception of reward for audiences who invest their earnings in fixed outcome activities. Your team did not win because they practiced hard, they won because satan, ruler of the world decided that day it would benefit one of his plans the most. Athletes are not at high levels due to talent but willingness to compromise and defy God with oaths amongst many other rituals.
*Fraternities and Sororities are satan’s plan to infiltrate Christianity by getting lukewarm individuals to compromise under the guise of “family”. Any worldly tool that claims to soothe an intrinsic desire excluding God is a catalyst for satan’s plan to take your soul.
The education system is similar to hazing in fraternities and sororities. While being taught about life you are subject to developmental trauma and faced with as many distractions as possible to keep you conformed.
*Christianity is not a religion. Religion is a gatekeeper to walking fully in our purpose. Most people who do not believe in Jesus leave through rules of religion including what to wear, what to say, what believing is. They assume God is not gracious.
Assumption is the enemy of joy. Any time I took a risk and was optimistic, the Holy Spirit living in me performed.
It is also like our bodies being capable of walking. When waking up and not feeling energized to walk if you have the optimism to think “my feelings change all the time” and get on a treadmill, you will see evidence of this truth.
Social media keeps us from thinking.
I find myself waking up to use social media to know what is going on obsessed with gossip and stories.
Satan justifies gossip and external obsession by creating interesting narratives of evil.
Homosexuality is at its peak desensitization. Streamer University hurt my soul as I witnessed so many men twerking, so many women dressed as men, and no regard for identity.
When did homosexuality become normal? When did a man denying his manhood, his apparel, his voice, his desire for women become so common?
Why are so many women befriending these men?
These men have so much negatively stored in them after committing to sodomy, lust, sexual perversion as their baseline.
Sin is not unequal. Their sin does not outweigh mine but their sin bothers me more for some reason.
Maybe it is because they do not try to stop. It is not “make the mistake” then “repent and process what triggered it” then repeat.
For them it was micro compromise after micro comprise which in turn led to macro outward disobedience.
I listen to secular music while exercising. I listen to male secular music to envision myself having a relationship. I listen to female secular music to embody beauty I crave to walk in.
Each variation leads to warfare. Male secular music has been found to be pushed the same way fast food is. The industry forces them to push infidelity, sexualizing women, love of money, and crimes.
Female secular music has the same narrative but in a way that harms women. They push isolation, love of money, vanity, and lack of morals through sexual fluidity.
For me it was simple. I avoided my trauma like the plague. I knew early on that success lies in progressive forward thinking.
Survival is in the optimism.
But that is like being a plate full of food.
You are safe from significant change, until someone gets hungry.
Yes our adversary comes to steal, kill and destroy.
But this is often a good thing. That is why God allows it.
Picture this, your mind is a plate.
You sit there with a mind full of ground beef and rice.
Ground beef is your childhood beatings that make you question your authority and limit your progress.
Rice is your current people pleasing misaligned work opportunity where you’re begging to be valued with low level people.
God will see you sitting there with all that mess in your mind and is FULLY AWARE of the logic before you are.
You see your mind is falsely comfortable, blind, nestled under a blanket of warmness not knowing it was slowly making you more susceptible to harm and if left without care eroding away the integrity of your makeup.
God sees how you will eventually be attacked.
It is inevitable.
Even if you eat every morsel of ground beef, there is still a stain on your mind “plate”.
Even if all the rice is gone, there is still residue.
Each time you refuse to people please, you take a bite of rice.
Each time you walk in your authority and embrace what you already have, you take a bite of rice.
Soon, when you are done feeding/learning how to be renewed, the battle is ready to begin.
You see this is where your faith is tested, this is where you are given a decision.
Take the plate wash it immediately, move on peacefully
This means after letting go of those vices quickly and allowing that positive habit to stack going forward.
Or let it sit in the sink or on a couch, mold, and attract bugs.
This is deciding not to deal with people pleasing or your childhood and tiptoeing around the mess.
The smell is undeniable. The stench.
You see when we avoid cleaning, it makes its presence known in actions we try to do around it.
You’ve been there before.
Stuffing dishes in the sink, hearing the clanking knowing it is time to wash.
Seeing fruit flies agressively circling the living mess and having to wave them away knowing they will never leave until you fix the problem.
Then it hits you, that undeniable need to get the smell out of the house, get the dirty food off the plate.
So you grab soap and a scrubber and get to work.
Fortunately because the odor lived in every food on the plate you get rid of it all.
I got it. A combination of ADHD, neurodivergent, and genius.
Whatever it is, is in me.
The ability to comprehend at lightening speed but EXECUTE?
Nah.
It has to feel safe.
What does safe feel like?
Nonexistent in the presence of others but most importantly not there when there are leaders.
You heard me, leaders warp the flow.
Not because of my own inferiority. That is not in me.
But because of conditioning.
Repeated verbal and non verbal cycles of ensuring I feel my authority leads to non safe outcomes.
If a person is not stopped by their knowledge, it would be their emotions and vice versa.
Our brains all work like that.
But not all brains work the same.
You see there’s what I got and a few other people got.
The stuff in us that says step 1-5 of a 10 step list don’t matter. We hit step 6 first.
Then there’s the masses.
They need to go in order, slow and controlled.
They need that push.
They need…each other.
But no not me.
Since moving away from my family two years ago it got loud.
That it that I have not been able to exude.
Undeniable miraculously self sufficient.
But I tried to tame it.
Took jobs I was too big for.
Joined gyms I was getting bullied at and again too skilled for.
Group bible studies that my theological and spiritual understanding could not shrink into.
Then it hit me.
Staying says my it is not valuable.
Staying says I rather be bullied than effective.
So I did what I always do to limiting classwork or things the like. I just quit.
Now that it thing is why I quit, not laziness.
Laziness and that it cannot co-exist.
Laziness fears that it.
That it will synthesize, analyze, co-emphasize laziness until it has nothing to do but run away.
It is this brain makeup only explained by those who have it.
Who lived it. Who know it.
We are sensitive to…you guessed it….bullshit.
Yes we are privy to life being based upon patterns not behaviors.
We can see a set up a mile away, call it out and clear it out.
But again that happens when we are where? Alone.
In crowds that it gets perverted.
We began to feel peoples energy.
I parked in a DMV space that was labeled “Associate Manager” and was thinking they’re probably never here that’s why they have a parking spot cause they show when they feel like it.
I joyfully exited the car and noticed a gate blocking the non employee entrance and was instantly frustrated.
The parking spot was not there because it was a quicker distance to the door I needed so I caught on that I’d have to depart.
Then it happened.
I see a white older fat male employee smirk with his lame suit on as he jumped out his basic car.
I could not contain “it”.
I said “Don’t say any white bullshit or man bull shit right now, just shut the fuck up”.
What prompted this hostility you may ask?
My mind categorized this innocent bystander in the space of people he looked like.
People I have worked with. People I have coward under..
Enraged I exploded but in only the way a genius can, under your breath as you race into your car and close door without eye contact.
You see we are wise. We know our gifts have a price.
We know our opinions are quick and right but not received well.
We know.
It is in the times I have come home from work questioning if I was being too harsh when standing up for myself.
The times I called out an unattractive manager female for copying me, her pretty female employee..
THE RESPONSES WERE WARFARE.
So we do what we know best. Minimize and hope to not get attacked for being good. Attacked for being smart. Attacked for being blessed. Attacked for being right.
But that leads to time wasted.
After realized I do not fit in and that societies socializing rule was a fallacy to keep us with “it” assimilated I broke rank.
Got fired from a job for alleged not hitting quota.
I hit it but if people cancel that counts as a fire pretty girl strike.
I hit it but if ugly female manager felt ugly that counts as a fire pretty girl strike.
I hit it but if ugly female manager sabotages deals that also counts as you guessed it…pretty girl get out of here strike.
So I realized. This will never end. Even in gyms. Being stared at while I film is not due to intrigue.
It is due to insecurity.
Being in rooms where people are insecure makes me want to conform and be their help.
This was a conditioned behavior through my ugly mom beating me senseless after she came home from being treated ugly AND dumb at work.
I can’t imagine how it felt as she left work, the least paid, the least valued but the most studied. You see although she was stupid, she had gifts. Social gifts unlike the rest.
So what would a system do to a person who is not smart enough to be confident? Make them train others to be her boss.
Infuriating bait right? But her mindset of keeping the job made her rage manifest in me.
The only part of her life that was pretty.
The bright part the smart part.
She obsessed with humbling me.
Making me wear ugly clothes. Beating me for being “smart”.
Her exact words.
Then love bombing when I got old enough to fight back.
So it happened.
I carried her trauma backpack for 33 years.
Today I take off the backpack.
My brain being this way is not ADHD. It is a gift from God.
My pure joy in isolation is not a weakness. It is a strength from God.
Conflict is a trigger word for many pretty women now adults recovering from childhood abuse physical or mental.
This theme of using my discernment and ability to convey how someone made me feel then END CONTACT without fear is terrifying to the conditioning.
The conditioning says shrink.
The conditioning says go through your day afraid of what could be.
The conditioning says find out a way to get out of this safe.
Give them what they want.
Turn the other cheek.
Be less aggressive next time. It is your fault.
You can make them like you, try harder, don’t get rid of them.
Even saying the words pretty women can be attributed to “vain” or “malicious” by some looking to manipulate and diminish the terms.
But what happens when you let the person causing conflict win the game?
What happens when you decided to sit back and receive the outcome they desired.
Not only receive it but come up with a way to say it was a challenge you had to bear to learn something.
What happens then?
You. Step. To. The. Side. And. Welcome. Poverty.
That’s right, you allow your opportunity to be removed for their peace of mind.
It did not occur to me until 33 years of age when I realized how it manifests in other parts of my pretty woman life.
Here’s the cycle.
Person A sees me thriving and smiling. Then to top it off I am being kind to them too.
Person A is infuriated. Thriving says they could do more. Smiling says today is happy for me not them. Kindness says I deserve it.
Person A plots to study me.
Not just me but any other person like me so they are ready for this invisible war.
Then they pounce.
The attack is simple. A work sales deal where they are looped in and do not ensure the client feels supported.
Person A causes me to lose the deal and then offense comes at me as a distraction disguised as a problem to solve.
While I am so wrapped up in “innocently” complaining to them directly about their actions, I am not thriving.
Then comes the hook line and sinker!
Person A flipped it to being my fault.
While I spend hours replaying what I could have done differently, I am not smiling.
What is happening though?
Person A is thrilled. They sense their production hit a nerve.
They misinterpret their performance as evidence that they are valuable.
Person A feels so good that they begin to rewrite history.
Joy rooted in a fallacy of thinking can only be justified to them if they trick themselves into thinking they were wronged by my “arrogance” so this was deserved light.
Then comes the copying.
Person A watching me smile could only feel comfortable imitating it when it did not flatter me.
It would only not flatter me if I was no longer doing it.
Now do you see the correlation?
From the mental olympics caused by Person A, I am left frustrated, paranoid, and pessimistic.
Until I am faced with my own image.
That makes it even worse earlier on.
I begin to see me in them and find sympathy. The worst place to be as a pretty woman is worrying about Person A’s “feelings”.
I then decide to let Person A have whatever they were striving for. “The lost sales deal so I do not hit my quota”
Person A takes the money and runs!
I’m talking producing team viewable slideshows on how to be better at closing deals. Creating step by step video tutorials on how to be the best salesperson while wearing a hair style and shirt like mine. Any and every open mental avenue just to say “Person A is a winner.”
But what happens when the pretty woman prays?
Yes this blog entry is not just about why pretty women lose.
It is also about our secret weapon.
You see without prayer, pretty women would continue the Person A cycle with Person B.
But WITH PRAYER?
I am an oversharer anyway and when I finally take my case to someone stronger, I get stronger.
Prayer does not mean sit and feel sorry.
It means be with God and listen.
The story was detail ok fine but what about your calling.
Stating my case and then making a deliberate choice to shut up and be with God gives access.
Once, I did this before while struggling to make a bad business decision and God literally brought me to one of the most powerful Bible verses I never heard before Ecclesiastic 4:6. Case was open and closed that quick.
After this kind of prayer, when Person B pulls a fast one, I am ready.
In action this is how to do that/ how I specifically just handled that with Person B.
Let’s say a hairstyle was done horribly wrong by an exemplary stylist solely to ruin your hair growth and other unseen reasons not yet known to you.
You heard me, you walk in the salon oversharing about being an influencer, hair regrowth, and brands while smiling/thriving as usual. Then are met with that same Person A jealousy.
Your people pleasing and minimizing kicks in. Immediate trauma response.You’re off to a rocky start.
The stylist hits full send on the performance with BURNING your scalp with the hair dryer on your previously dried hair, then the repeated “accidental” shoulder hits while braiding, extreme tight braids, and ignoring your hairstyle request COMPLETELY.
She booked back to back so is frantically rushing you out as her next non pretty client (potential person C) glares you down.
The stylist ends the appointment with an aggressive head tap and says “Ok you’re done”
You bounce up glad it is over, terrified to comment on the poor result and experience.
You leave a tip and dip.
Then the pain settles in. The bumps form on your perimeter due to tension and over tightened braids intentionally poorly installed by ironically one of the cities greatest and most meticulous influencer braiders.
First instinct is shaky. You give in to the temptation, see her thriving posting brand collabs after that horrible appoint and you decide “Person A respond” to that thang.
You text her exactly what she did wrong after having to wake up at 2:30am sore and sad incapable of faling back asleep:
“The pain woke me up. My hair in the front was braided too tight. See pictures of tension bumps. When I told you that you blew dry my hair to hot you during my appointment, you did not reply. My back of head is so sore from that heat too. “
Then that Holy Spirit speaks up.
Block her.
That loser in you starts to question Him:
So no anticipating her response? No questioning what I did wrong? No checking her social media for confirmation that this issue was isolated to my beauty? No anger about her “appearing to be copying me and stealing my energy”
Nope. Just block her, do your best influencer content and never look back.
After Jesus speaks you begin deep prayer and rebuking principalities by name. Not her name but the spirits working on her and person A and Persons C-Z to follow!
All of a sudden you resist the urge to revise the influencer video you were drafting to show a horror story because you know that would take away from potential brands.
Then it hits you.
Influencer hairstyles KNEW it would do just that before you did.
SHE KNEW IT WOULD TAKE AWAY FROM POTENTIAL BRANDS.
You begin to feverishly show up on your platforms disciplined.
Fix the hair issue and post the video she angrily filmed with you and GET THE BRANDS.
You proceed to pretend as if she never existed.
Because she didn’t.
You see when the Bible says “We wrestle not against flesh and blood” that means we block our enemies, forgive them and do not ponder why they hurt us.
That takes our light back. That says no satan your plan did not succeed.
Then guess what turns around after those brands, YOU GET FINANCES.
If you would have did a video on an emotional deep dive about her character, behavior, and a charge back on my payment, she would have felt that false light of Person A.
She would have went on to do brand after brand after brand deal citing that her work is pristine and “no weapon formed against her shall prosper”.
Just could be out there using the word in vain!
But the detachment. Oh that hits different.
Her feeling seeing she is blocked ruins her plan.
But her not having any identity on my social media shows she is not valuable enough to sabotage, shrink my goals and MORE IMPORTANTLY ruins satan’s plan.
If you want to learn more about how to intentionally/patiently fight hear God’s voice over the deception of the enemy, then come back tomorrow for a clear breakdown.
You can tell what prayer God is answering by your conflict and triggers.
Study how technology uses our behavior to encourage actions and understand that it is a copy of how we can use evidence of miracles to encourage actions.
Example with tech: technology will show you something new.
You click on it.
The algorithm takes note and presents it once more.
You don’t click.
The algorithms caught that too and they present the same thing but then something new right beside it just to see if now you’ll go back or forward.
You click on new thing.
Bam cycle repeats with that but another option until you teach them what you like.
Example with miracles and God: Authentic rooted breakthroughs do not happen from clicks determining what God gives you.
There is no keyword that you search for God to keep presenting that topic.
You see God presents experiences to answer the reason behind our selections.
The first step is to pray for a miracle CORRECTLY.
That at the very least means you are attempting obedience to God’s direction rather than striving aimless and worthlessly to use works to get what will inevitably be meaningless when you die.
When you choose to initiate a prayer environment, that first welcomes the truth identity of God’s unlimited authority and the Jesus of Nazareth as your only King, your only healer, your only provider, you ARE obedient fully.
Then the prayer for a miracle has no choice but to be adjusted to what would serve your true purpose fully.
Let’s say you get there, after acknowledging what God can do and what you are here to do, and notice it is impactful for you to have a new car. You dig through your flesh and certainly identify that to live out your purpose here that car would allow transportation to and from places that need you.
Next you present your case before heaven.
List out your intentions.
These are like click on technology but different in that God will not show you more cars.
He clocked that “transportation” word and will ensure you see more movement than you can ever imagine.
Movement not just in your finances to get the car but in your heart posture to KEEP the car and maintain the intention.
Jesus is seeking out what your reasons and desires are and shaping what you see around.
Since God heard the intention is to be a strong efficient leader so you want a new car to get to your job faster.
He sees that and offers you the trials of the strong efficient leader.
You get in arguments.
People repeatedly present behavior that God knows broke your chance of strong efficient leadership previously.
He digs up what you buried and makes you sit with it until you use your awareness on Earth.
Until you use the Holy Spirt’s wisdom.
And. Start. To. Pick. Up. Your. Cross.
This is the communication armor that you decide to embody your true nature from God which only comes by daily reminders that God is who He is and made you who you are, all grand and great.
You notice the set up, climax and conclusion of each battle ends in you being further from your goal of strong efficient leader.
So you put on armor.
Prayer transforms from car to wisdom, vigilance, patience, creativity, strength, and forgiveness.
Before you know it, you have increased credibility at your job.
You have been promoted.
You have wisdom, patience, creativity, humility and strength surpassing your understanding. Oh yeah and the little thing we call money on Earth gets to you easily to pay for the new car.
When going to buy the car you are not eager to ask for more money from God because you sat there and dealt with the root of your desire.
You are tired but excited for what is to come since you were given more than your request.
Sharing your intentions with God allows Him to move mountains for you.
Sharing your intentions with technology forces you to keep mentally striving for new shiny things that bring the same warfare and frustration without help.
Just the thought of what would even initiate a reply from me is foreign.
“I would like to take you to *insert restaurant here* at 7pm on Friday. I would like to pay for your hair, nails, toes, and a nice dress/shoes. What is your Zelle?”
This seems to be the only compelling message that I would entertain.
And after that, what happens next? How can I be sure it is worth the warfare?
You read that right, I have a full understanding and analysis of the warfare involved in placing myself at the mercy of a dating interaction with a man.
Here are the five common battles:
The intense interviewing process conducted by the male party dedicated to defining how they could conquer this challenge in their life. This could lead to false warm fuzzy feelings, fixations on their last name, and even deep investigation of his “type” in an attempt to understand how he is so “perfect”
The deep performative theatrics that the male identifies after the interviews to assist in reducing static between the male and the goal of sex. This could include tears, gifts, money, and even shoutouts on social media that appear genuine by the Oscar award winning species.
The conquerer tactic of isolation met with subjective rate due to a “wild night” where they force kisses and if female is dumb enough, they are even in a private home where no witnesses are around so ear hustling can ensure my undergarments come off. Which then leads to persuaded fornication. This act would disrupt years of deep prayer and relationship with God’s plan for my life.
The “real” Christian man approach that leads me down a “Wow, he’s the one” false rabbit hole. With this event, I would be putting this man in a high category and valuing his discussions about God. This could and has led me down a path of disappointment when he couldn’t sexually wait any more and him visibly moving on portraying his new girlfriend’s dress on the hotel room floor and shoes as a badge of honor.
The “final boss” of it all. Being out witted by the charmer. He single handedly dismantles the identity of every amazing woman in person, online, or in his family by studying her moves and wins What does he do to solidify the crush? Include my deepest secret in his arsenal and drop it at the least likely moment. Ex. pregnant, married, or simply Tuesday. This could send me into a confusion season where I am constantly releasing the trauma onto others by being rude, dismissive, and even struggling to perform.
So you see how this could never feel “safe”?
A part of healing involves a willingness to know we do not have everything figured out. Although I described a COMMON procedural that men carry out to get “what they want”. I left out a key factor, God’s will.
Fortunately I have had many years of private time searching for why things are the way they are and have concluded that there no rest on Earth because our time here is temporary.
I also am aware that God has people, places, and things created that each one of us could not imagine as it surpasses our authority level.
This makes me wonder…would having a person on Earth who is genuine matter? If I choose to live my life without shaping it to be desired and turn down all advanced would it be ok with “the powers that be” for me to just exist?
Or would my inability to imagine dating a man align with this creation God has for me that I have never seen?
When did misalignment with goals lead us to doubt our full potential? You see a challenge and think you are so far from it that there is no way for your true potential to shine. There are many reasons why your nervous system is upset with you but the most significant one would be unlimited misuse of focus time.
External validation.
This was learned from the moment we take our first step and there’s an adult screaming, “Good job!!”.
The step is for you to sustain yourself yet the action connects you to progress falsely attributed to that parental figure. Their perversion of a role intended for them to maintain development for another human being is warped into extreme satisfaction with your well being sets the tone for false ideologies around pleasure and joy going forward.
Then paired with abusive punishment tactics such as physical beatings or deprivation of treats, you are set up for a chaotic dynamic with this thing called life.
Your anxiety is relative to the amount of familiarity your current state has with your developmental years.
This is why millionaires go homeless after a childhood of disruption. The calm and certainty feels strange and there is a persistent need for “balance”.
So what can you do to stop the cycle?
Define the root. Sit with the learned poor habits and identify where you began denying your truth. If you want actionable steps to accomplish this, click here.
